Moving Goalposts

I have a pretty unhealthy habit of setting the bar a bit too far out of reach sometimes. I’m saying this from an accomplishment perspective. I already have some friends who are (seemingly) successful in their startups, and actually being in one things feel completely different. I’m not sure of I’ve ever felt that ‘basking in glory’ kind of feeling that publications make entrepreneurs make out to have. Perhaps you can call this the “Facebook effect”, where everyone seems to live ideal happy lives on the surface.

Back in middle school and high school, my mom would always compare me to a friend who, for the most part, get high scores our exams. I remember refuting that had she compared me to the dumber kids in class, I would’ve come out higher every time. Sure enough I got a beating that night… I never really cared much for school or grades even though I did relatively well.

What I do care about is trying my best to become ‘successful’. Now everyone has their own definitions of success, but for me it is a moving goalpost I likely will never reach. An accumulation of these thoughts and how I am going to achieve them is what sometimes keeps me up at night. And almost as a curse, whenever I see a part of other people’s lifestyle that I want to have, I incorporate that into my own goal. I’m a perfectionist at heart – I might get pretty darn close, but I will never get there as nothing is every perfect.

I think one of the challenges that I face is simply to acknowledge where I am instead of dreaming about the future and what could’ve been all the time.

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